The Bride of Christ : 03 So How Then Should We Live?

The motif of the church as the body of Christ has been much emphasised throughout the worldwide Church since around the mid-1950s. In a nutshell, we have learned that believers should pray to discover the ways in which God has specifically gifted them, both naturally and spiritually, so that they may then serve him effectively and fruitfully in his work. This motif teaches us about the functionality of the church, i.e. about what we do: we are best placed to serve fruitfully and happily if we serve according to our God-given gifts, talents and skills (cf. 1 Cor. ch.12).

However, in contrast to this, the motif of the church as the bride of Christ teaches us about who we are and how we should be living. There are several things which normally characterise a bride-to-be: she is deeply in love with her intended bridegroom, she has a single-eyed focus on him and him alone, and she is waiting with increasing anticipation and preparing herself for her special day. So, as the bride of Christ, we are intended by God to be living a holy and pure life which brings him honour, according to the principles of his word. We should be keeping our love for him warm and remaining faithful to him in our heart, and we should be washing ourselves daily with the word of God and making ourselves look radiant for him (cf. Eph. 5:25-32).

Another major and oft-repeated motif used in the New Testament to describe Christians is that of being children of God. So we are born again of the Holy Spirit, we are adopted into the family of God, and we become children of our heavenly Father. In essence, this motif has to do with how we relate to God within his redeemed family and also our spiritual growth as believers. The New Testament epistles employ various words which describe how God intends for us to grow in Christ: we are like new-born babies in the faith (1 Peter 2:2); we become infants, and then growing children (1 Cor. 3:1, 14:20; Eph. 4:14; 1 John 3:1-2); then, as we continue to grow, we slowly become mature sons of God (Rom. 8:14-17, Gal. 3:26); and finally we become full-grown adults in the faith and live as men and women of God (1 Cor. 14:20, 1 Tim. 6:11).

However, as any pastor knows very well, the problem of lack of growth into spiritual maturity amongst believers is a problem that plagues many churches. Unfortunately, many believers remain pretty much as infants in the faith, and they do not really grow into fuller spiritual maturity as God intends. I suspect that this may even have to do with the fact that we consistently call ourselves ‘children of God,’ in the sense that if we continually self-identify as children then perhaps we may not understand God’s wider intention for our long-term spiritual growth. Certainly, most if not all believers are very familiar with the motif of being children of God, since this receives a lot of emphasis in many churches. But are they as familiar with the motif of the bride of Christ? In comparison, how much emphasis does this motif receive in teaching in the local church? Is teaching about our identity as the bride of Christ neglected, or is it simply never addressed at all? As any parent knows, although most children know they are deeply loved and provided for, yet they can still be wilful, immature, disobedient and even rebellious. Too often, believers remain spiritual children, because that is how they see themselves. It is difficult to grow beyond our perceptions of ourselves.

I am of the conviction that part of the solution to this problem is that we should emphasise more than we presently do our identity as the bride of Christ, and that we should do this through the lens of covenant. Unfortunately, many Western Christian believers are weak in their understanding of the concept of covenant. In contrast to the motif of a being a child, the concept of being a bride speaks of being older and having grown up somewhat. It speaks of the readiness and desire to enter into a covenant relationship which is characterised by genuine love, by commitment to one another through thick and thin, and by regular intimacy. It is very true that in some senses it is a boy and a girl that walk down the aisle to get married, both of whom in many ways are still characterised by immaturity of character. However, to live together in marriage over the long-term and to bring up children together demands faithfulness of heart, a commitment to co-working together in and through the issues and responsibilities of daily living, and the willingness to grow into fuller maturity of character as adults in whatever way that this is demanded. It is this that makes a boy into a man, and a girl into a woman. So the motif of the bride of Christ is a call to grow into real spiritual maturity in our walk with God.

This point is well illustrated both in the epistle to the Hebrews and in the life of the Corinthian church. The writer to the Hebrews rebukes these believers for their lack of spiritual growth. He was expecting them to have matured enough to be able to teach other younger believers the foundations of the faith. However, they themselves had remained in such a stage of spiritual infancy that they were still unable to do this. They were still needing to be fed on milk and had not yet been weaned onto solid spiritual food (Heb. 5:11 – 6:2).

Similarly, although the believers in Corinth were born again and seemed to enjoy very much the presence of the Holy Spirit in their meetings, yet the apostle Paul tells them openly that they were very much infants in the faith, because in many ways they were still behaving like unbelievers (1 Cor. 3:1-4). Although the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit were operating in their meetings, and they were therefore being formed together as the body of Christ, yet Paul rebukes them for the immaturity they were displaying in the way they related to each other (1 Cor. chs.12-14). He tells them to grow up and start to think and behave like adults! (1 Cor. 13:11, 14:20). Furthermore, the fact that they were tolerating sexual sin in their church, and that some of them did not seem to have repented from this, showed clearly that they had not yet understood the need to develop the moral purity expected of the bride of Christ (2 Cor. 11:2-3, 12:20-21). These Corinthian believers saw themselves as children of God and as the body of Christ, but they had not yet developed into a level of maturity in their all-round spiritual character and lifestyle which showed that they understood what it meant to be the bride of Christ.

Inner spiritual covenant union and the bride of Christ

We were redeemed by Christ through his blood shed on the cross. We have been bought with this price, and we now belong to God rather than to ourselves or to this world:

‘In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins...’ (Eph. 1:7)

‘You are not your own; you were bought with a price...’ (1 Cor. 6:19-20)

Through this redeeming work of Christ, God brings us into covenant union with himself, a covenant which is sealed by the presence of his Spirit indwelling us. The Holy Spirit is our arrhabon, our engagement ring which has been given to us as a guarantee of the wedding union that will one day take place between us as the bride and Christ our heavenly Bridegroom.[1] So, through his indwelling Spirit, we become one in spirit with the Lord, united and bound to him deep within, and God begins to work out in our life his intention of forming us into a bride for his Son:

‘Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s purchased possession...’ (Eph. 1:13-14)

‘Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?’ (1 Cor. 6:19)

‘But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.’ (1 Cor. 6:17)

‘For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.’ (Rev. 19:7-8)

As our spirit is increasingly woven into spiritual union with the life-giving presence of the Holy Spirit within us, this leads into a continuing process in which our heart’s desires and the way in which we live are transformed, so that we reflect more and more the image of Christ in our life. We love, adore and worship God, and we love his word and presence. Christ becomes increasingly the life of our life, and, as his life grows and blossoms within us, it transforms our inward character which then reflects the fruit of the Spirit:

‘...the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.’ (Col. 1:27)

‘For you died, and your life is now hidden in Christ with God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.’ (Col. 3:3-4)

‘Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the image of its Creator.’ (Col. 3:9-10)

‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.’ (Gal. 5:22-23)

Within this mutual covenant commitment, Christ our Bridegroom has given himself unreservedly to us as his bride, the believing Church. So he has promised to protect us, to care for us, and to never leave us or forsake us, just as any loving spouse would. He has promised to provide for us in terms of having a home and sufficient food and clothing, as we walk with him in love and obedience. He is even now preparing a place in heaven for us, and he will soon return to take us to this new home:

‘...just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.’ (Eph. 5:25-27)

‘But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.’ (Matt. 6:33)

‘God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”’ (Heb. 13:5)

‘In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be with me where I am.’ (John 14:2-3)

Those who give themselves in unreserved heart commitment to Jesus, reciprocating his own unreserved heart commitment to them (as the concept of covenant union suggests and demands), are the ones who enter into a fuller and deeper understanding of what it means to be his bride. They experience the free joy, deep peace and ongoing love of this relationship. But for as long as a believer’s heart is divided between the love of life in this world, and love for Christ, they cannot really enter into this joy:

‘Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.’ (1 John 2:15)

‘...offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ (Rom. 12:1-2)

So how then should we live?

It is crucial for us to understand our identity as the bride of Christ, and to know this teaching about inner spiritual union which underpins it. If we do not know or understand this, and if we have never been taught that God wants to work out this wonderful spiritual truth in our life, then we will not be able to live and walk according to it. We will not know or understand God’s desire or purpose in wanting to develop this identity in us, and we will not see its fruit in our life. At best we will be confused or deceived on this point, and at worst we will remain ignorant of it.

As I said above, many of the believers in Corinth had not understood their identity as the bride of Christ, and this is one of the main reasons why they did not live up to the moral standards which the apostle Paul expected of them as Christians:

‘I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him. But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached... you put up with it easily enough.’ (2 Cor. 11:2-4)

‘I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have engaged.’ (2 Cor. 12:21)

The motif of the bride of Christ is given to us in Scripture to teach us about who we are and how we should live in the here and now. The committed covenant relationship between a bride-to-be and her betrothed is and should be recognised and honoured by themselves, by their respective families, and by their social networks. Being betrothed gives personal identity, family identity and social identity to a couple. It determines how they live and relate not just to each other, but also to other people and to society around them. They are expected to live as people who are betrothed to each other. Lack of faithfulness to this identity and to this covenant relationship, or betrayal of it, can bring deep pain and shame onto both themselves and their respective families (cf. Jas. 4:4).

The predominant characteristics of a bride-to-be are purity, single-eyed devotion, and faithfulness to her betrothed. She is a ‘one-man woman,’ and she prepares herself in joyful anticipation of her special day. This all flows out of the heart love and longing which she has for her betrothed, and out of the unreserved covenant commitment she has made with him. These two things determine the way in which she lives her life.

So too for us. When he comes, our heavenly Bridegroom wants to find a bride who loves him, and who has long been preparing herself in joyful expectation of his return. A bride who knows that her bridegroom is one day going to come for her, does not hang around passively without preparing herself, like the five foolish virgins did. No, she proactively prepares herself like the five wise one did, so that she will be ready for when he comes:

‘For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.’ (Rev. 19:7-8, cf. Matt. 25:1-13)

As the bride of Christ, we love Jesus above everyone and everything else. Our challenge in the incessant demands and busyness of everyday life, is to keep our love for him warm and fresh. We can do this, as every married couple can, by determining to protect and nurture our times of intimacy with him. It is mutual commitment to regular intimacy which keeps love alive, fresh and warm:

‘Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first...’ (Rev. 2:4-5)

‘I found the one my heart loves. I held him and would not let him go…’ (Song 3:4)

‘My lover is mine and I am his.’ (Song 2:16, 6:3)

‘Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.’ (Eph. 6:24)

The understanding of dynamic, inward and unreserved spiritual covenant union, which is described above, is a call to co-work with the Holy Spirit within us in the here and now as he transforms our life. Our identity as the bride of Christ is not a theoretical concept. Its truth is grounded within us subjectively and experientially by the union of the Holy Spirit with our spirit. So this suggests the very real potential of its realisation in our experience of walking with God through life in empowered relationship. Certainly, if we are to mature in our relationship and walk with God in the way he intends, then we must get to grips with what it means practically to be the bride of Christ.

So it is a call to live in ever-increasing measure for the eternal things of God and his kingdom, rather than for the things of this world, and to do this out of genuine and growing heart love for God. In tandem with this, it is also a call to live in obedience to God by putting to death sinful desires in our life, by the power of the Holy Spirit within us, and thereby to not live for the carnal and temporary things of this world, and certainly not for the pleasures of sin. The biggest battle in our life will always be the ongoing battle between the life of the Spirit within us and the deceitful desires of our carnal nature. If our life is to truly reflect what it means to be becoming the bride of Christ, then this is a battle that we must learn how to win:

‘So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want... The acts of the sinful nature are obvious... Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.’ (Gal. 5:16-25)

‘So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking… You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its evil desires… and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.’ (Eph. 4:17,22,24)

‘Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, … But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice... You have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.’ (Col. 3:5-10)

Holiness means ‘to be separated unto,’ and so, because our heart commitment is to Jesus and to him alone, we honour our relationship with him openly before other people. We belong to him. We remain faithful to him with single-eyed devotion, and we avoid moral impurity. We separate ourselves from the sin of this world, so that we can then live freely unto him:

‘I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.’ (2 Cor. 11:2)

‘…what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.’ (2 Peter 3:11-12)

Similarly, we obey God’s word because we love him, and we freely choose to live our life in a way which we know will please him. Loving my spouse means wanting her/him to be happy and pleased with me. And how do we know what is pleasing to God? Through knowing his word, which reveals his will. So we wash ourselves daily with his word, through reading and meditating on it, and allowing it to permeate and cleanse our heart and mind. As we do this, and live in obedience to his word, we become increasingly radiant and gorgeous as Christ’s bride:

‘Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him... If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.’ (John 14:21,23)

‘Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.’ (Eph. 5:8-10)

‘So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.’ (2 Cor. 5:9)

‘Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of water by the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.’ (Eph. 5:26-27)

Copyright Notice

^{^[1]} The Greek word arrhabon is translated as ‘deposit’ in Ephesians 1:14. However, one of its common forms meant an engagement ring.

The Bride of Christ

03 So How Then Should We Live?

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